How To Deal with a SAM (Smart-Ass Masochist)
How To Deal with a SAM (Smart-Ass Masochist)
Some people act bratty, and disobey their Master/Mistress,
just to get the extra attention of a punishment. This class
of person is known as a SAM -- Smart-Ass Masochist. However,
there is such a thing as getting the wrong kind of attention...
Use a fistful of cold spaghetti as your flogger of choice.
Use adhesive butterfly sutures to tape the SAM's mouth
shut.? (Then forget to remove them after the scene)
Use licorice ropes as restraints.
Send the SAM out to get the mail. On his return, start calling
out loudly, Here sissy, sissy, sissy, that's
a good boy. Pet him on the head when he gets in range.
(Or swat him with a rolled up newspaper, whatever works)
Restrain the SAM to the wall, invite some friends over.
Blindfold one of your friends, hand him a really large and
scary-looking needle and then play pin the tail on the smart
ass.
Make the SAM beg you for an orgasm. When she starts whimpering
she needs to cum, remind her only when you say so. Tell her
if she fakes it, she'll never be allowed an orgasm again.
5 hours after the scene, look at her and say orgasm.
Draw on the SAM's skin with crayons, then tell him to
go out side and sit in the sun and wait for the wax to melt.
If the SAM complains about a warm ass, fill the enema bag
with slushies.
For the SAM's birthday, give her a T-shirt that says
'My Master went to the leather shop and all I got was
this lousy T-shirt.'
Every time the sub stars to go into SAM mode, play a Barry
Manilow CD.? (psychological warfare)
Play Mr Rogers, videotapes during a scene, to set the mood.
Use those big foam hands you can buy at sports arenas as a
paddle.
Blindfold and restrain the SAM, then start up the chainsaw.
Tell the SAM you bought new nipple clamps, then hold up a
set of jumper cables.
Tell the SAM your family is moving in just for a couple
of weeks.
Order the SAM to shave off her eyebrows. Explain you have
a Whoopie Goldberg fetish.
When the SAM's parents call, breathe heavy into the
phone for 5 seconds then hang up.
Watch Psycho repeatedly. Act excited every
time the SAM goes into the bathroom.
Order the SAM to wear a paper hat and greet visitors with
Welcome to McDonald's, can I take your order?